In Labor

Phil asked me today if I remember this at all...



Oh yeah, I most definitely remember that day. I remember waking up @ 4am, bloody, and having pain like I've never quite had before. The only time in life that people are excited for pain.

But to be honest, I don't remember what it really felt like. I remember it being intense, but I don't remember what the intensity felt like.

Not to mention, when I sit wrong, I am reminded that giving birth does in fact hurt.

I honestly think God intended woman to not remember labor.
Because if they did, they'd probably never get pregnant again.

OH! I have an idea. All girls in middle school should be put through a labor simulator.

"See girlies. This is what labor feels like. Have sex. Get pregnant, YOU FEEL THIS."
Maybe concerning them with the PAIN of labor, & not the caring for a baby afterward.

I think that would greatly reduce teen pregnancy.

What do you think? Do you remember labor?

P.S. YES I was fat. Holy cow I was 40 weeks pregnant. That's like, almost the pregnancy max. & yes, Phil was cruel enough to take pictures of me while I labored at home. & I'm glad he did. LOVE YOU, PHIL!

Somebody

When you think of being a parent, you sometimes think of your own parents. & speaking from my own point of view, you don't give them enough credit. Especially those who don't have children of their own.

Before I fell into the amazing world of being a mother, I was guilty of the same discrediting. But now I know better.

When you hold them, so tiny, fragile, & new... you feel things you may have never felt before.

I consider myself quite young to be a mother. I know people who were years before me with their first. Even my close friend Morgan, being 20. But, considering I'm talking about myself here, I feel too young to be a mother. I was worried in the beginning, about how I'd feel. Would I resent it? Would I regret it? Would I curse the every two hour feedings? Would I roll my eyes every time he fussed?

These first two weeks have answered all of those questions for me. Would I resent it? Never. Would I regret it? Never. Would I curse the every two hour feedings? How could I, when every two hours at night I get the reassurance that he's okay, & I get to see his beautiful face. Would I roll my eyes ever time he fussed? Not at all. In fact, I welcome to explore the challenge of trying to find what may be ailing him. Finding out new ways to soothe him.

Since I was unable to breast feed, I wondered if I had lost that special connection? I don't think so. I look into those eyes, & feel his grip grasp my finger, & I know that he loves me, & that he knows I love him, too.

I also wondered about my maternal instincts. I was never the person who had to hold babies. I normally preferred not being asked if I wanted to. I'd stiffen up, & wish that I hadn't been forced into holding someone else's tiny treasure. I know now, that when you see someone else holding them, they aren't feeling what you feel when you hold them yourselves. How could they?

I waited nine stinkin' months to see him. To meet him. To count his fingers & his toes. To know for a fact that everything had developed normally. To name him, to hold him. I waited impatiently for that one moment, & only a moment it was, when he first sprang from my womb and was placed in all his gooey glory upon my sweating chest to be gazed at for the first time. It was the most beautiful moment I'd ever had in my life. The entire room faded away. Not even Phil existed anymore. I looked at him, still attached to me by the umbilical cord. His arms reached into the air, as he gasped for breath to aid in his cries. I held him for the very first time, absolutely amazed at the miracle. He was absolutely perfect in every aspect I could imagine.

So I doubt now, that many people give their own parents enough credit. At one point (I hope) they had had that same moment with you. When all the anxiety, pain, fear, and excitement faded away. Where only you and your mother (and father) existed, staring at each other as if you were those kinds of strangers that felt like they've known each other all along.

I can't imagine ever feeling that way about anything ever again. Not that I will want to. That is my connection, with my son. I only want him to have the credit. That one moment where everything in my life, my heart, mind, & body changed.

I can honestly say I never knew who I really was until I became a mommy. Now, well.. now I'm somebody.

Teared up enough yet? Well, hopefully this picture will help. Everyone loves a baby in overalls.

2 weeks postpartum & his 2 week check-up

Let's start with me!

2 weeks postpartum, & how I'm feeling...

The gross shakiness & feeling of weakness is gone. Which must mean that my hemoglobin is back up to almost normal. Hooray!

My PUPPP rash is GONE! I rarely itch. All that's left are my poor scratch marks & scabs from itching myself to death. I don't look like I have scabies, & I don't have to scrub with that stinky pine tar soap anymore. Another bonus.

This will deduct points. I'm still feeling quite a bit of pain 'down there.' It's normally after I've done quite a bit of activity. I'm guessing this is normal. If it still hurts like this by week 3 of postpartum, I'm gonna be a little more worried.

LOCHIA also known as my uterus bleeding from the rupture of the placenta & the childbirth & all that is finally dying down. It's no longer uncomfortable to be miles away from my own bathroom. I no longer am changing double the diapers (his & my own!) all day. PLUS!

I'm not sure how my weight is doing, because I don't have a scale. But if you go by the rule, "You'll leave the hospital not looking much better than you went in," then I should be in good shape. I definitely don't look anywhere near pregnant anymore. My stomach looks like a stretched out balloon. My abdominals are gaping, & will take some time to close the gap before I can start toning them again. So patience is a virtue at that point. Otherwise, I have my cute butt back! (It was starting to look a little plumber like) & to be honest, I think I'm looking pretty good. Just gotta wait for some healing & all I'll need to do is tone 'er up a bit.

2 weeks old, & his check-up revealed...

All of his newborn reflexes are intact. He's got great circulation, absolutely no jaundice, a firm grasp, & a strong neck.

He's up to 9 pounds 11 ounces! So he's back to birth weight, & then some.

They commented on how well we've got his head back to looking normal. Meaning, the amount of back time & tummy time I'm giving him is doing him real good.

His breathing doesn't look stressed at all, but when he's all worked up he starts to kind of pant. As long as we keep an eye on it, & make sure it's not always like that, it should be okay. They said it doesn't look like he's having trouble at all. I'm looking at him right now as he sleeps, & it's definitely slower. He just gets hyper diapers I guess.

They are pleased with how well he's eating. Our doctor said that she was concerned about his eating in the hospital. He was such a lazy eater then (as he still is now) that she was definitely worried about him taking to the breast. She admitted to us she figured he'd end up on the bottle. He's still a lazy eater, & we have to keep coaxing him to eat at the bottle. But he's doing well.

Other than that...

We're all doing great. I even got the living room vacuumed today, so I'm pretty pleased. Sorry no new cute pictures today. Just know that there will be future posts filled with them. :)

That is all!

Piglet

I've been calling Emmett a piglet so often these days that I'm thinking he's starting to repeat it. I mean, the kid is up to almost 3 oz's a feeding, & he isn't sleeping any longer!

Check out the cuteness...





Today we're watching Rookie of the Year. I have yet to buy Emmett any Cub's paraphernalia, & I haven't been able to watch any games due to the fact we cancelled cable in order to make our lives simpler & more productive. & even though it's helped, I'm still totally missing the baseball season this year & it sucks! Emmett seems to like this movie, too. :)

Yesterday my Mom brought my niece Emma over to see her cousin Emmett. She insisted on helping feed him. She's quite good at baby keeping (future babysitter?), but I don't think Emmett was convinced.



His face screams, "Good God help me." LOL!

-----

The whole getting back to work thing is starting to freak me out. I've been applying a few places in the last couple days. What I'm hoping is getting into something like HyVee, where I can have a more flexible schedule. I can't imagine now, leaving my baby. But I know I have to, & I know I have to soon.

Did any other new Mommies have problems leaving their little ones?

Happy Mommy

In spite of my cranky rant yesterday, today is going to be much more pleasant, I promise. :)

Last night as we quietly tip toed to bed (you have to tip toe when you don't want to wake up a baby who was hell-in-a-box to get to sleep), Phil & I laid whispering to each other, as we always do before trying to get some sleep.

Me: I love being a mommy.
Phil: I can tell.
Me: How can you tell?
Phil: I just can...
Me: But how? (I always press on things... I'm so annoying)
Phil: It's just... your aura.

First off, I will not condemn Phil for using 'your aura' in a sentence. Mainly because if I really do radiate happiness when I'm with my child, then I'm very content.

I have yet to understand how parents can beat their kids, or shake their babies. Sure, it's frustrating, but the last treatment I can even imagine using is violence. I guess my frustration turns into compassion, because instead of getting mad I just want to make sure he's comfortable. Then again, I've always awed myself with my patience levels.



Phil & Emmett, my love bugs!

Phil recently 'went back to work.' If you know what Phil does for a living, it's not so much being here nor there, for work. But the next few weeks it'll be just Emmett & I. I'm not the least bit nervous or scared. I have most of my health back, bleeding is down. The pain is still there, but a few pain killers & I'm okay. Though, I do miss him. & I'm sure Phil is missing Emmett real bad.



Between 10:30am & 12:30pm Emmett refuses to nap. At first I thought something was wrong! But yesterday I popped in Return of the King, gave him a binky, stuck him in his bouncer & he was quite content. He stared in the direction of the T.V. for the longest time. I'm guessing he could hear the movie, & was amused.

We're currently watching Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince



What cracks me up the most are newborn reflexes. At first, newborns smile out of reflex. When Emmett gives us these pseudo-smiles, they are almost always followed by a look of deep concern or discontent. It's hilarious! I'm not quite quick enough so almost all of my pictures end up with him looking like a nervous wreck.

& now my last picture of this blog...



"Just cause I don't eat outta 'em doesn't mean I don't like 'em!"

I finally caught that smile... I'm thinking this one may not be a fake. :)

Being a new parent

There are a few things I'm conditioning myself to do, being a new parent. It's hilarious to see how you yourself change as you learn different things about your baby. Emmett is 11 days old today. Meaning, he's almost 2 weeks! That's half of a month, & I'm not ready for all of that. Phil is excited for him to sleep through the night, be able to run around, being interested @ the zoo, etc. I don't want my beautiful precious newborn to go away. I love his facial expressions, how his legs are still curled when you pick him up, how when he's hungry he tries to eat everything, the way his little hands move around without any real purpose.

But a few things I notice myself doing these days...

Checking in on him every half hour. Looking for signs of breathing, seeing if he'll grasp my finger in his hand.

Not being able to fall asleep unless I hear him fuss a little bit. That way I don't have to get up to check on him, I know he's okay.

Making sure there is a binky & a burp cloth in every single room possible. Always have my blue suction bulb thingy in hand.

Becoming an expert bottle washer.

Keeping & hoarding those scoops that come with the formula... for some reason I think I'll need all of them, just in case.

Reading hundreds of new mother threads online to see if what my baby is doing is normal.

Talking about the color of his poop. (It's yellow. Good sign.)

Actually washing my hands every single time after going to the bathroom.

Re-packing the diaper bag. You never know when you could be leaving something behind!

Wanting to talk about my labor & delivery with other mothers.

Taking naps during the day even if I'm not that tired, just because he's finally asleep.

Tearing up when I look at him.

Getting down on myself when I hear people drone on about breastfeeding.

& now a little about my breastfeeding woes...

I'm almost to the point now where I dread feeding Emmett in public. It always strikes the question, "Why aren't you breastfeeding?" & it also strikes a headache, some pain, a lot of guilt, & a ton of frustration.

Breastfeeding was something I was absolutely excited about. I talked about it all the time, read about it. My first night in the hospital, I had a nurse who was kind of rough on me. She forced me to use a nipple guard when I really didn't want to. She'd like, knead my boob really hard & get openly discouraged with me when I wasn't doing it right. & when he wouldn't latch, she'd tell me to keep trying & leave. I had no idea how hard this would be!

Here I was, exhausted in the hospital, it was 2 a.m., & I was left to figure out how to get my hungry child latched onto me without any help?

I met with a lactation consultant, but at that point I was even more tired. I had trouble sleeping while in the hospital. I was scared it was going to be another grope session where everyone gets openly annoyed with me because I didn't know how to hold him or where to put what.

I'm angry at myself because I let it get to me to the point that by the time I was over how awkward & annoying that all was, it was too late to even try. I tried to pump to get it going again. But by now I'm sure I couldn't make enough to suffice one feeding, let alone a days worth.

So I'm going to end this blog just saying that no, I don't want to talk about the whys & why nots. I know the difference between breast milk, and formula, and I know what's better & what isn't. I know this because at one point I couldn't wait to hold my baby in my arms & nurse him.

But, as I figured out through the labor & delivery part, nothing about becoming a parent ever goes as planned. Maybe I'll keep trying, maybe I'll do what I'm doing now. Either way, don't ask me about it.

That is all.

1 week postpartum

Okay, so this post won't have any cute pictures of the 'lil guy, mainly because we're a busier household than before. Plus I've been procrastinating on getting these thank you/birth announcement cards out. So let me catch you up!

• Emmett only likes to poop once every two days. Doctor said for now, it must be normal. As much as it did worry us, they said he is perfectly fine & will regulate the older he gets. So for now, lets count our blessing. (& our diapers!)
• Breastfeeding is still rough. I've borrowed an electric pump from the nice people over @ the WIC office, but even with that my body is proving inefficient. I'm hoping with all this pumping I start to get something good a'flowin'.
• We're sleeping 2 and a half hours at a time before waking up & needing feeding. Phil & I are getting used to it, & learning that we are indeed still functional. WOO!
• This rash, I believe, has hit it's peak & may be ready to calm down. Thank GOD! I thank my Mom, baking soda, Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap, & lots of hydro-cortisone cream.

Other than that, being a mommy is proving to be a lot more fun & rewarding than I've seen it made out to be. I love my son with all my heart, & I couldn't have ask for a better baby.

As for Phil... still amazing. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's such a natural daddy! It's like, this was made for him!

I promise my next post will be full of pictures & stories & interesting stuff. Love you guys!

P.S. I was 187 lbs at time of birth. I am now down to 163. Not too shabby! :)

Coffee

I'm finding new things to love about this insanely chaotic new life of mine.

First off, Phil is the most amazing new Dad I've ever seen. He does everything so naturally without any anger or frustration. & it all comes naturally. I'm really starting to learn a lot from him.

He also helps with my frustrations. He cheers me on as being a good Mom, even when I'm doubting my abilities. Though I do have to admit, that a lot of what I have been doing has come more naturally to me than I would of expected. It's like, instinct took over for me.

My biggest issue right now is breast feeding. Emmett & I are not in sync with this special little dance. Right now I'm having to pump & supplement formula to make sure he's getting what he needs. I guess the most frustrating thing is that mother's who do breastfeed tend to say things that shouldn't make you feel bad (aka: advice) but end up frustrating you & making you feel even worse. It's like, I know it's better for him. I know it's the natural way. I know, I know, I know. But what else can I do but try, & do what I can for him until everything works out?

In other words, as much as I appreciate the advice, some of the comments get to me. & right now, the last thing I need is any more stress or anxiety. I'm still learning so much. & I love my baby very, very much. & to have any notion that I am hurting him or withholding something dear from him is absolutely heart breaking.

Another extremely aggravating thing... PUPPP. It's a rash that forms on the stretched out skin that pregnant woman suffer from. Mine has gotten extremely terrible & it's everywhere. I'm constantly itching. The pain from that is making things feel even more overwhelming. I'm going to try to bathe with baking soda & use this soap my mom found called Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap. She said she looked it up online & found that many women who suffered from PUPPP used it & it helped them successfully. Cross your fingers, I'd rather not take any hard antibiotics or antihistamines!

Okay, that's enough of that. I say on to the cuteness!




He's so independent, he told me the other day that I don't have to tire myself out holding things for him. He's already got a good grip on his binky & his bottle. :)



We love our bouncer, but newborn necks are just too unstable. So Phil rigged up this contraption to keep his head from falling into his ass. So far, so good.

I love my new little life, & my new little family. :)

Emmett's First Night Home

I'd like to say that Phil & I successfully survived our first night @ home along with Emmett. & that as scared as we were, it was surprisingly easier than television or other moms made it seem. I'm sure I'm in for some nasty surprises later on, but for now I don't mind being extremely groggy waking up every few hours. I guess it's just knowing that I get to see his adorable little face. :)



That was taken this morning after his breakfast. It's so amazing seeing his body finally occupy all those little outfits I'd chosen, washed, folded, and neatly put away for months.

How I'm Feeling Postpartum I'm upset that I didn't have them weigh me before I left the hospital because I was curious. My stomach isn't looking so bad. It still has that red itchy rash on it, but it's slowly fading. & my tummy still has that extremely stretched lived-in look. I have to wait at least this week out before I can start doing my exercises to help fix up my ab muscles.

As for the pain, well, below... ouch. I'm absolutely terrified for my first... actual deuce. & even though I know it's healing it's still quite frustrating. Let me explain...

Phil is the most amazing daddy I've ever seen. & he is more than happy to take on most of if not all of the duties. I know he's helping me out because he knows I need to heal, but I feel quite useless. I try to do as much as I can, but most of the time I feel it's not enough. I don't know if this is the baby blues stage of the postpartum mood swings, but I can't wait until I can help out more.

Anyway, I'm going to leave you with this 3 minute video of Phil & I rightly being the most naturally narcissistic any two humans could possibly be & get away with it.





Enjoy! :)

He's Finally Here!

I can not express to you the emotions & thoughts that have gone through my mind beginning 4 a.m. May 12th.

As this is my birth story, I'll start @ the very beginning, & make sure not to leave too much out.

It all started @ 4 a.m. on May 12th, our due date. I had been bleeding heavily, so I figured that I must be dilating. I started to get painful contractions & was able to time them @ 5 minutes apart. So, Phil & I woke up & showered and waited until 8 a.m. when our OB-Gyn office opens. By this time our contractions were closer to 4 minutes apart.

The day before, I was measured @ 1.5 cm, almost 2. When I got in there around 9 a.m. I was at 3!

Because I was unsure of any pain medication right away, we stayed at home & I labored there until about 2:30 p.m. By this time the pain was getting much worse, & they were 2 - 3 minutes apart. So we packed our bags & let our midwives know & headed over.

We checked into Triage room 2 where they monitored his heart & my contractions. After an hour, we had no progress. They offered to send me home with a large sleeping pill, & I refused. I asked if I could walk up & down the halls for awhile and then recheck me in an hour. They agreed. I was NOT going home.

1 hour later, and about 1/2 hour of walking... I was @ 4 cm. Relieved & happy, we were admitted.

After we were admitted to our Labor & Delivery room 5107, we labored there for a short while. They broke my water around 5:30/6 p.m. Shortly there after, the pain of the contractions got so intense that I wasn't sure how I was going to make it to 10 cm.

After a feud about a lidocain allergy (which I don't have) & almost needing a new I.V., not to mention my intense fears about the procedure, I got the epidural.

What was happening is that I was already so exhausted, it was getting hard to relax & breathe through the intense contractions. Not to mention with an almost 10lb baby (which we didn't know @ the time) turned the wrong direction inside of me, the back labor was so intense. I was only @ 5 cm dilated. But, my tense & unable to relax body was keeping me from getting any progress.

After we got the procedure done, which was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or terrified of, things got MUCH better. I was able to laugh, talk, & be excited again! I was having VERY intense contractions, & couldn't feel a thing. Luckily for me, the contractions continued on their way, my body doing all the work without my mind there to interfere.

I slept most of the night & most of my dilation. I feel asleep at 6 cm. They woke me up about 5:30 a.m. on May 13th, and I was 9 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Hooray!

I wasn't completely dilated & thinned until about 7 a.m., so we started pushing close to 7:30 a.m. The epidural gave me no justice for this. I was one damn good pusher, though. We started to see head & crowning around 8:15 a.m. We didn't count on him having such a huge head (or body) so we weren't completely sure why it was taking this long. About about 9 a.m., with no episiotomy, I pushed out a 9lb 8oz, & 20.5 inch long baby boy. He was born right at 5 after 9! I suffered a pretty big tear inside, and my poor bum is quite bruised.

He was healthy right off the bat. But I had lost quite a bit of blood, & could barely keep my own head up let alone get any breakfast down. They checked my hemoglobin & hematicrit levels, & they were much lower than when we first got there. I didn't start to feel any relief until after we came to our Post-Partum room 5133. I didn't even get to shower for the fear of passing out. But soon, I felt great & the company started pouring in.

A few things to accompany the story for anyone interested in child birth options, etc. I did start out with feeling my labor & using the birthing ball & jet tub to aid in my relief. Both were good options. Especially since the bleeding was bad, being able to sit in the tub & not care felt good. Another thing that really help me while pushing & having an epidural at the same time was a mirror. Near the end I couldn't watch as I knew everything was that painful because of his HUGE head, but at first helping to know where & how to push, it was a life saver. Plus, being able to take a peek & know where you are & your progress was awesome.

That is MY baby & birthing story! I hope it helped anyone who's getting ready or preparing for the big day. I guess my only 2 cent is this: DO NOT BE ASHAMED when your birthing plan does not go accordingly. Just because you can't take the pain, does not mean you failed. Do what YOU can for YOURSELF to make sure that everything that needs to get done, will get done. I'm happy I made all the changes I did. Looking back on it all now, I know if I had done anything differently things may not have gone so smoothly!

P.S. Phil was the most amazing support person I could have asked for, & he's an even more wonderful daddy. I love him very, very much, and didn't have to get nasty with him one bit! Be jealous!

& now enough of the boring stuff, here's our baby boy!

Emmett Dawes Pracht born May 13th, 2010 @ 9:05 a.m. & checking in @ a whopping 9 pounds, 8 ounces, & 20.5 inches long!

Due Date

Today is my due date. May 12th. 40 weeks pregnant.

& I woke up this morning (4 am to be exact) in some pretty bad pain.
Lots of bleeding. Lots of trips to the bathroom. Lots more pain.

By 9 we headed to the Group (where I receive my OB/Gyn care at).
Yesterday around 4 pm I was barely 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced.
Today when I got there, after laboring for a few hours,
I was 3 cm. 90% effaced.

When we were done there, she gave us the option of going to the hospital.
Since I'm opting out of pain medication, we came home to do the painful laboring instead.

I don't think I'll want to be at home any later than 5 pm.
& all I have to say, is that if baby boy is born ON his due date, I would be happier than a clam in the sand.

But to be honest, anything to get rid of this PAIN!

From now on, I'll listen.
When they say, "You'll know when you're in labor." They mean, "You'll know when you're in labor."

Hopefully my next update will be via the hospital wifi!

Pray for us, & wish us luck!

Pineapple

I've been cramping & contracting all morning. & I realized there is one other natural labor inducer (in the form of an ol' wives tale that some woman will swear to!) that I haven't tried, but did pick up @ the store.

& since I probably won't be able to get back to sleep till either 1.) this pain goes away, or 2.) I take enough drugs to make me pass out, then I might as well give it a try.

Ah, yes. The beloved pineapple theory. Not as painful as the spicy foods, the castor oil, or even the sex. Quite refreshing & delicious. Not to mention nutritious. But does it work?

Pregnancy.lovetoknow.com say's that tropical fruits, such as kiwi, mango, & pineapple, carry an enzyme that may produce mild contractions.

Howtodothings.com claims that these tropical fruits & their enzymes don't actually start labor, but tone the cervix, which may in return help labor run smoother.

I've also read on some message boards (my favorite being from BabyCenter.com) that woman swear that eating 8 pineapples after her due date has come & gone is what caused her labor.

But what the hell, you know? I'm sitting here, slightly awake, & in worse pain than I was last night @ 5 am. Phil's asleep. Even Caesar is sleeping. Why not try a little pineapple & see where that goes? What's the worst it could do?

Note: Remember a few posts back when I tried castor oil? I remember asking myself the same question, "What's the worst that could happen?" My answers were, "I could induce labor." Which was the point. "I could get diarrhea." Which I totally did. "I could make myself sick from the taste." Which I didn't. So by now you've probably assumed I create for myself a self destructive streak. & if you have assumed that, I'll admit now that you're right.

1 hour later...

While I ate my pineapple slices, I read a few things on a message board. A few women said that they heard pineapple can cause miscarriage early on in pregnancy. Other women claim that this specific enzyme is only in fresh pineapple, & not the canned kind. (I'm not going to run out & buy an expensive imported pineapple, & try to harvest it myself.) I wonder if maybe the preservatives cause this enzyme to disappear? Or if the crazy pregnant woman mind just thinks that nothing will help unless it's fresh from the source. Who knows.

Either way the pineapple tasted delicious. I even drank the pineapple juice it came in to add the dramatic affect.

My favorite account that was relived via this message board, was the fact that one woman said all the pineapple made her do was poop a lot. She claimed, "Maybe it has the same effect the castor oil does, in which it must stimulate your bowels to get labor going?" The reason I laugh @ this is because when you are pregnant, you can eat absolutely anything & almost it always results in a bowel movement. This is guaranteed. Another reason I laugh @ this, is because this same exact thing is also guaranteed for people who are not pregnant. Brilliance, I tell you.

Any way, I'm going to go crawl back into bed & hope that I can get a few more hours of sleep. If anything happens that's drastic enough to blame on my delicious twilight snack, I'll let you know!

39/40 week appointment

So, if it doesn't happen this week, I honestly don't think it will. I know, I'm being over dramatic.

Today I'm 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated. My midwife seems to think I am in good shape, because my cervix effaced so easily. & that is usually the hardest thing for first time pregnancies. His head is stationed at +1. Which is also good.

I also had my membranes scraped. Apparently this procedure is supposed to hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. I didn't think too badly on it until I got out of the car & walked into Walgreens. After walking a few paces, I suddenly felt as if I had been fisted quite aggressively prior. Very lovely.

I have all of the cramping & bleeding that membrane scraping promises. & I hope it means that I may be going into labor soon.

The cool thing I thought about this procedure was that she could feel his head through my bag of waters. So, at least we know he has a head. & that's a pretty good start, if you ask me.

She seems to be confident that this is my week. & I can understand how she doesn't want to confirm this, because if it doesn't happen I'll just be that much angrier, frustrated, & upset.

Another fun addition to my miserable symptoms is this lovely rash called PUPPP forming on the stretch marks of my stomach. It's harmless to the baby, but can be extremely itchy and uncomfortable for yourself. I was told to use an anti-histamine cream, such as Benadryl, to ease the itching. The only sad thing about this, is that I can't take my favorite sleep-aid while using this product. So what's the point in not itching if I still can't sleep? Decisions, decisions. But the marks as well as the rash are said to leave after he's been born. Thank God.

So right now all I can really do is try to work on inducing labor myself. My friend Morgan (who was actually due yesterday) & I are headed to the mall to hopefully walk ourselves into some labor.

Normally, I wouldn't want to put myself in a public place where my water could just break all over. But right now, I don't care if I got the damn Pope's shoes wet. So bring it on.

I'll keep you updated like this through out the week, but as for any more fun posts I think I'll save my energy for baby.

Happy Mother's Day!

I pretty much wanted to dedicate this post to new Mommies, & Mommies to be. Not because I'm bias against everyone who's already gotten to be celebrated on Mother's Day. But because this is my first not-so-technically Mother's Day, & the next time I'll get to see it, my son will be almost a year old.

But anyway,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE NEW MOMMIES, VETERAN MOMMIES, & SOON-TO-BE MOMMIES OUT THERE!

Shout outs to NEW mommies!

Jennifer Strader & Baby boy Alex!
Krista McCalley & Baby boy Aidan!
Christa Ochs & Baby girl Amiyah!
Beth Snyder-Swanson & Baby girl Maddie!
Bailey Maberry & Baby boy Tanner!
Maygan Hull & Baby boy Ethan!
Becca Bell & Baby boy Nile!
Tomasina Bredericka & baby girl Harmonee!
Taryn Charboneau & baby boy Landon!

Shout outs to SOON-TO-BE mommies!

Morgan Callaway!
Katy Rose Taylor!
Laura Rupiper!
Madison Grimes!
& the few others who may not want to be mentioned quite yet!

If I failed to mention you, it wasn't on purpose.
Please comment on the post with your name, & either when you're due & the sex of the baby, or when your baby was born, & your baby's name!

I hope all mommies have a wonderful, special day! (Not like you don't everyday being mommies, right?)

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Also, check out my newest escapade w/ dabbling in natural labor inducers: the Castor Oil chronicles !!! Desperation isn't pretty.

the Castor Oil chronicles

Love it or hate it. I'll be 40 weeks on Wednesday, May 12th. & I've decided that I'm going to give this good ol' wives tale thing a try.

Oh trust me! I've taken all of your suggestions!

I've

• had sex
• walked A LOT
• used my breast pump
• drank raspberry tea
• ate spicy foods
• taken sips of an alcoholic beverage (couldn't give into actually drinking a whole one. It felt wrong.)
  

& none of it worked. There is only one last thing on the list of natural inductions.

Castor oil is a natural laxative. That's what it's used for. So, obviously, the downsides of trying it are cramps, gas, bloating, & well anything that goes along with cleaning out your system. & trust me, I know & understand all of the risks. Hell, some women have tried it & went into labor without ever passing one log prior, during, or post. SO THERE! (Not to mention, I've been a little more productive in that field than normally, anyway.) - NO I HAVE NO SHAME.

Below is my log. I'll be filling you in with details, hour by hour.

Here it goes! the Castor Oil chronicles log:

I am 39 weeks and 3 days along
I am already 80% effaced & 1 cm dilated as of a week ago w/ regular non-painful contractions every 20 minutes

The time is 11:31 am
I took 2 oz's (or about 60 ml's) of oil
I took it with V8 Splash Berry Blend & a bowl of applesauce
Symptoms I feel are a little bit of nausea. The castor oil didn't taste like much, except cheap chap stick. & the consistency is so thick, that it sorta grosses you out. But as a child, I ate one of my watermelon Smacker chap sticks, so I've had to burp this taste up before. Not a big deal. The applesauce is helping masking all this, anyway.

I'm making sure to drink plenty of water to help curb either the runs or dehydration! See you in an hour!



The time is 12:34 pm
It's been 1 hour
Symptoms I feel are a little bit of lightheaded-ness. My stomach got hard & the baby moved a bit. But now it's died down & I feel nothing. I even feel good enough to eat a bowl of soup. I'm going to take one last dose the next hour, & see what comes of that. It's only been an hour! I've got to keep my chin up!



The time is 1:32 pm
It's been 2 hours since dose #1, taking dose #2 now
I took 2 more oz's
I took it with Minute Maid Cherry Limeade & another bowl of applesauce
Symptoms I feel I haven't been feeling too much, to be honest. No gas or runs yet. I've made sure to drink plenty of water, just in case though. My stomach has felt hard, and the baby has been active. But other than that, not much. This was my last dose for the day, so we'll see how it goes. But, so far, nothing. :(



The time is 2:31 pm
It's been 3 hours since dose #1, 1 hour since dose #2
Symptoms I feel Oh yeah! I was so cocky those first few hours. Now I'm feeling it. The whole sha-bang. Nausea, diarrhea... luckily enough I've kept my system quite clean. I won't go into too much detail, but I think I'm mostly just reproducing back out the oil I drank. Contractions are starting. Nothing is consistent, but they are contracting stronger. Other than that, I'm not feeling so bad. Oh, & baby boy is still a tossing about!

I've decided to increase my fluid intake to double. Time to go sit in a hot bath. It will motivate me to drink more water!



The time is 3:27 pm
It's been 4 hours since dose #1, 2 hours since dose #2
Symptoms I feel Slight cramping & another trip to the bathroom interrupted the nap I was trying to get in during this hour. But the nausea was definitely gone by this time.




The time is 4:46 pm
It's been 5 hours since dose #1, 3 hours since dose #2
Symptoms I feel Woke up from my nap, getting some good contractions, but nothing to scream about. The oil is almost completely gone through my system. My body shot it out faster than anything I've ever seen. It's left me quite hungry. I've been double dosing the water, & it's helping me keep quite hydrated. Other than that, I've just woken up & feel fine. Hopefully we get some contractions now!




The time is 5:31 pm
It's been 6 hours since dose #1, 4 hours since dose #2
Symptoms I feel Contractions are under way. They don't hurt, but they are strong. I can feel them pushing the baby's feet up. His feet were more horizontal, but I can feel him moving. Which hopefully means with his head pushing down it may stimulate something.




The time is 6:32 pm
It's been 7 hours since dose #1, 5 hours since dose #2
Symptoms I feel About the same as the last hour. About to eat something. Stomach is rock hard & contracting. Bowels are calmed. I'm completely cleared out! I've got to rehydrate and get some glucose in my body.



The time is 7:36 pm
It's been 8 hours since dose #1, 6 hours since dose #2
Symptoms I feel Absolutely no more bowel discomfort, but my contractions have regulated to very strong & every 15 minutes. Was able to eat & stock back up on fluids. Even if this doesn't send me into labor, I'm pretty sure these contractions have to be doing something!



Okay, so I stopped updating because things stayed kind of the same. My bowels are calm, but still a little temperamental. No more nausea. Contractions are coming, 10 to 15 minutes apart and slightly painful. It's been more than 12 hours since my first dose. I was hoping this would throw me into full labor, but I was wrong.

Conclusion I'm pretty much under the conclusion that natural labor inducers do not work. I think everyone who tried them & they worked, it was only mere coincidence. "But Rachael, how can it be a coincidence that many times?" you ask. Well, it's easy. You have millions of women all close to their due dates trying odd things to get labor going & half of those million women just happened to be going into labor anyway.

My last final thoughts are, I wish baby boy would of wanted to join us by Mother's Day. I hope baby boy will join us in this next coming week. & last, but not least, I suddenly feel bad for all the times I've administered castor oil to my family in Oregon Trail II. I now know how they feel, & would never want to diarrhea in the desert.

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If anything cool happens by morning, I'll post a follow up blog tomorrow. Good night, & Happy Early Mother's Day!

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UPDATE! Well, there are no updates. After a day of waiting & wondering what is going to happen, nothing did. Besides a slight case of runs, & a little nausea, I'm fine today. Castor Oil did neither good nor bad. I guess on a plus side, my bowels have never felt so clean and refreshed! But I definitely don't recommend putting yourself through it. Not one bit.

I liked May 4th better than May 5th & here is why:

Every year everyone who I guess is anyone makes a huge deal about El Cinco De Mayo. Or, as people in the U.S.A have been calling it, May 5th. It's a Mexican holiday celebrating the time when the Mexican army defeated the French during invasion. NOT to be confused with the Mexican Independence Day, which is in September.

As the glorious America has always done, they've turned this victorious event into something they could celebrate, & used what wasn't even their own victory as an excuse to get drunk. Big surprise. Margaritas, Tequila, & whatever else your common frat boy can cook up.

This is what I did on my El Cinco De Mayo:

• I woke up around 11.
• I ate Spaghettios.
• I watched Star Wars: Episode I - Phantom Menace.
• I went grocery shopping.
• I went to a family cook out.
• I went on a walk with Phil & Caesar.
• I watched Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones.

As you can see, not much partying.

& if you must know, Phil & I have been watching all of the Star Wars movies. We of course started with the classics, which have always been my favorite. & then he introduced me to the 3 newest ones, which I've never seen.

If I were a Jedi Master, & I had my own light saber, I'd want it to be pink.

End of story.



Anyway, we started watching the series Monday night. Which was May 3rd. The next morning, I woke up & read this tweet from someone I'm following:



(I, of course, had to retweet this!) & I was absolutely thrilled. & if you must know why, it's because not only am I terrible with trends & holidays, I never know when cool things are going on. But, lo' & behold, I was for the first time ahead of the game.

So suck it, you trend setters & trend spotters! I claim this victory!

Oh yeah, & happy El Cinco De Mayo Mexico. I'm sorry everyone in American colleges had to ruin your special day.

I have the best roommate.

So as all of you should know, Phil & I live together. I've never lived with anyone outside of my family before. I lived semi-alone prior to living with Phil, but we were dating so it hardly counts as he was there as often as I was. But let me tell you, I don't think I could of picked a better roommate. I absolutely love living with Phil. It's just that sometimes, he does things that make me say, "Huh."

Like for instance, leaving random pictures on my desktop.



Sorry, Phil. You left that out in the open & should of known I'd post it on here. Love you!

But today something happened that reminded me how much I love him & how much he amuses me, even when he isn't around. We normally have to do our laundry @ either my parents house, or his parents house. So, we keep all of our detergent & fabric softener sheets in a reusable bag. Phil & I normally use the cheap detergents, because infant detergent is so costly. Not that we care.

Anyway, I headed over to my Mom's to do laundry. As we loaded up the washers, she asks me, "So what... are you washing your clothes in the Dreft?" (Dreft is the $10 a pop baby detergent) I was like, "No. We have detergent in there." & she looks @ me & say's, "No, you have fabric softener." & holds up the bottle.

My beloved Phil had bought us fabric softener instead of laundry detergent. No wonder our clothes, yet starchy & sticky, smelled so damn good. You gotta love his effort.

Another thing I love about living in an apartment building? It's unpredictability. You never know what could happen throughout the day.

I was taking a shower, & right as I finished rubbing body wash all over me LITERALLY covered in soapy suds, the water turns off. So, I waited. & waited. & it never turned back on. So I had to rub all the soap off & be on my lovely way & hope to God it wasn't going to be a humid day.

Ah, real life. :)

Why I'd rather walk in the cemetary.

Lately Caesar & I have been taking walks. We're hoping that by doing this, I can strengthen my legs, start losing weight, & get the baby in the right position.

I live across the street from a cemetery, & mortuary. Sounds morbid, but let me explain to you why I'd rather walk through a cemetery than a park.

• The grass is always greener. No, I'm dead serious. It is. There aren't little kids running around on it. & though I don't walk through it, & Caesar isn't allowed on the grass (I don't want him stepping all over graves), it's still that much more pleasant to look at.
• It's quiet. Peaceful, even. You get a rare buzz of a vehicle, but no people yelling, no kids screaming, there are no other dogs for Caesar to run after. I can just be 9 months pregnant, & walk my dog in peace.
• There are trash cans everywhere. Mainly for when maintenance has to go around & clean up rotting decorations. But, at least I know if Caesar poops I don't have to carry the little blue bag around all day.

But, the other day, we walked behind the mortuary to get home instead. Now, I'm not superstitious or anything of the sort, but it smelled funny. The ground was being pounded, probably to make room for more graves. There was the maintenance house, & a creepy view of stacked coffins.

Well, Caesar & I found something else. A hole in the ground, that did not look man-made. It was big enough that if he had wanted (which trust me, he didn't), Caesar could of walked right down into the earth.



I'm not sure what kind of animal could have made that. Ground hog, large gopher, a pack of wild rabbits? Shit, I thought if we stood there too long, an anaconda would of snapped it's head right out of there & had Caesar in his belly in one gulp. What I do know, is that the smell emitting from the hole was foul, & smelled like rotting carcass. Creepy, none the less.

But I plan to keep walking as much as I can. My due date is a little over a week away, & I'd like to be ready.

APPOINTMENT UPDATE Went to the midwives today. I'm still 80% effaced & 1 cm dilated. My contractions are getting much stronger, to the point that my rib cage crushing down onto my taught uterus is causing what feels like stomach pain. I've been taking Maalox just in case it is some bad indigestion. Now, I pretty much just wait until my water breaks, or that I get contractions bad enough I can't stand. I'm pretty much just going to sleep & walk as much as I can this next week. I'm huge, extremely sore, & incredibly tired.

Daytrotter's Barnstormer III: April 2010

We finally got the right camera with us this time, because I got some great photos from last night!

Last night was Daytrotter's final night on the Barnstormer III tour. It was @ the Codfish Hollow barn in Maquoketa, IA. That is if you didn't already know this via my tweets!

Before I share with you the splendid visual glory, I have a not-so-funny-at-the-time story for you: Phil & I had to rush out of the festivities so fast because despite being 9 months pregnant with no sign of popping & despite that I am already uncomfortable enough in even the weakest of situations, according to my terrible luck and always messy hand of cards, I sat in someone's poop. Not just someone's poop. It was in the porta-potty that was the excuse for the restroom. & it wasn't your normal, healthy shit. Obviously, because I sat in it. So, we had to leave before I puked every where, & so I could get home and shower away the filth before (somehow in my mind) the E Coli & hepatitis seeped into my pores.

& no, this was one thing I didn't tweet about.

Any way, enough of that crap! Here are the pictures!












It was a really awesome night except for two things:

1. A really drunk (& probably something else) guy who kept dancing into people (he had a vengeance for the pregnant) & had to be pulled out of there.
2. Me sitting in poop.

& I had a blast even though I was hoping the hayrack ride would somehow be bumpy enough to break my water.

OH! & photos are courtesy of baby's daddy Phil.

& one last thing. PREGO FRIENDS: if you are having trouble sleeping @ night due to peeing too much & aching bodies, try Tylenol PM. If you are scared of the sleeping medicine (diphenhydramine HCL) & think the Tylenol PM might have too large a dose, then try this: 2 regular Tylenol tablets & 1 HyVee Nighttime Sleep Aid mini-caplet. That will give you the same strength in pain reliever, & cut the sleep aid dose in half. If you want to go the inexpensive route with generic or store brand medication, the pain reliever you'll want is acetaminophen (key ingredient in Tylenol) & the sleep aid you'll want is diphenhydramine (key ingredient in Unisom & Tylenol PM). The key here is to NOT EXCEED 1000mg acetaminophen w/ 50mg diphenhydramine. & YES, it's worth it to get a good night of sleep. & YES, they are all deemed pregnancy safe!

May 1st

I just wanted to take a quick moment to post a little something about today.

Today is May 1st, 2010. The reason this is so significant to me, is because no matter what, my baby will be born this month.

I remember thinking, 4 months to go. 3 months to go. 2 months to go.
But now, it's more like: Weeks to go? Any day now? Any moment now?

In what I hope will be much less than a month, with my due date being May 12th, I will meet the small man in which I've shared my body, my bodily functions, my meals, my slips, trips, falls, gas, & love with for the past 9 months.

I no longer have room to be selfish.
I no longer care about being cool. Looking cool.
Nothing matters anymore, except being a good mom, & being a good girlfriend.

That's what May 1st, 2010 means to me.



Baby boy Pracht, we can not wait to meet you. You have absolutely no idea how many people are out here, waiting for you. You have no idea how many hearts & hands want to reach out to you & embrace you. You have no idea about the powerful love that your terrified mother & brave father have been harboring for months now. You have no idea about all the amazing things you'll get to learn, & do, & the awesome amount of grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, & friends you'll get to do it all with.

I love you, baby boy Pracht. & I can't wait until you are ready to meet me.

Love always,

Your very happy, terrified, & anxious mommy.